I will be presenting on the psychological issues faced by adoptees and their loved ones as part of Synergy Series of lectures coordinated by William Symes.   This is a free lecture series designed for psychotherapists.  Details are on the website:

http://www.emotionalinsight.com/synergyseries.html


Dates for the next Full Circle groups for adoptees, birthparents, adoptive parents and their loved ones have not been set.  We will likely have our next meeting in January.  Feel free to email me at mkw@therapyshare.com with your contact information if you would like to be notified about upcoming Full Circle events.

Click on the links below to access the new client registration forms. 

Each adult and/or guardian coming in for a session must complete a set of forms.  
You are welcome to print these out and complete them before your first session.
You will also be asked to complete a consent for communication between my office and your primary care physician, psychiatrist or other medical professional.

All Registration Forms in One Document

I had a great time last Friday presenting for the Walton College of Business Information Technology Research Institute's Women in IT Conference. 

Following are my notes from the presentation.  If you would like more information, please email me at mkw@therapyshare.com. 

.      .     .     .     .

NOTES: How to be yourself! Exploring personality and creative risk taking

Mary K. Williams, LCSW
Psychotherapist

1. Looking at who we are.  At the beginning of life, we had the closest sensation to that of being whole, being one with the universe.  All of our needs were taken care of and we felt a sense of fusion with our caretakers.  Then, almost as soon as we are born, we interact with others, with our environment, and with our own bodies.  All of these interactions cause us to adapt, learn and build “templates” for how life works, how relationships work, and how we are supposed to behave.   In this process we are required to hide or reject important parts of that “whole” self that we were born with.   Allowing those hidden and rejected parts to re-emerge and become part of who we are is an important part of personal growth and getting to know who you are.  Doing this frees up energy that has been dedicated to keeping things out of our conscious awareness.

2. Creativity.  Creativity for the purpose of this discussion is your ability to use all parts of yourself to make something new, express yourself and interact.  Creativity has been widely researched.  It has nothing to do with being smart.  Some concepts related to creativity are connection (of concepts, facts, concrete items, etc.), breaking down of old ways of doing things, making up things that are entirely new, following through with a “product,” making adaptations, changing perspective, thinking deeply.

3. Risk Taking. Again, risk taking behaviors and personalities have been researched and there have been several tests designed to measure risk taking.  There are many aspects to risk taking, including how we assess a risk (we are usually inaccurate and irrational), how much we are “sensation seekers” and how confident we are.  Risks can involve both loss of material goods, loss of control, painful emotions,  failure and rejection, loss of reputation and many other things.  Risk, however, is an important way to stimulate growth and self-knowledge. 

4. Expressive or Reserved?  It is pointed out in David Keirsey’s book Please Understand Me II that we make choices based on our natural preferences, and past successes.  There are 4 major categories of personality, originally explored by Greek philosophers and introduced in modern times by famous psychoanalyst Carl Jung.  The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and its related tests are used to determine how people fall into these 4 larger categories as well as 4 subcategories within each of those 4 larger ones.

The first category is Extravert or Introvert, also known as Expressive or Reserved.

5. Extraverts:  Symbol: The Mouth.  Energized by human interaction.

6. Introverts: Symbol: The Ear.  Energized by solitary time.

7. Observant or Introspective?  The next category is called is Sensory or Intuitive, better described as Observant or Introspective.

8. Observers: Symbol: Eye looking out.  Tendency and strength is to observe the concrete, immediate world – external attention

9. Introspects: Symbol: Eye looking back into head.  Tendency and strength is to pay attention to the inner world, to thoughts, feelings, imagination.

10. Tough-minded or Friendly?  The third pairing of qualities is Thinking vs Feeling, better described as Tough-Minded versus friendly.

11. Tough-mindedness means paying more attention to thoughts, taking more action based on concepts, and being less likely to express feelings.

12. Friendliness refers to paying more attention to emotions, taking more action based on desire or feeling, and more responsive to their feelings and those of others.

13. Scheduling or Probing?  Myers called this pair Judging vs Perceiving.

14. Schedulers are motivated to keep lists, schedules, etc in an effort to bring things to a conclusion.

15. Probers are more attracted to options and prefer not to be tied to a schedule.

16. Artisans: Observant + Probing. Symbol: fox

17. Guardians: Observant + Scheduling. Symbol: beaver

18. Idealists: Introspective +Friendly.  Symbol: dolphin

19. Rationals: Introspective + Tough-minded. Symbol: owl

20.  The Kolbe Test: Your Action Mode. www.kolbe.com

21. Fact finder strength: way of gathering and sharing information. 
Overview - Essential facts - As many specifics as possible

22. Follow through strength: way of arranging and designing
Develop shortcuts and multitask - Detect discrepancies and adjust procedures - Design systems that organize everything

23. Quick Start strength: ways of dealing with risks and uncertainty.
Stick with what already works well - Check things out before trying them - Experiment to see what will happen

24. Implementor strength: ways of dealing with tangibles
Picture how things could work - Keep things working the way they should - Construct tangible solutions

25. BASICS first (Yes, YOU).  We must take care of our basic needs, our basic care, before we can be expected to do serious personal growth work.  Take an inventory of your physical and mental health, and major stressors that you may be putting off facing.

26. Big Points: Your pain is useful... Your past is useful...Embrace new aspects of yourself.  You’ve gotta try…

27. Tips !!!!   Don’t be afraid to trash your project and re-work it over and over again. Surround yourself with inspirational images.   Ritual - Ceremony - Commemoration

28. FORGET  Working for Validation or Approval; Right vs Wrong Decisions; Following how others do things; Your Permanent Record

.      .     .     .     .

I am now a participating provider for ValueOptions.  I am also a provider for Aetna, Cigna, Tyson, United Healthcare, BCBS, QualChoice, PHCS and others. 

PRESENTATION THIS FRIDAY

As a representative of Arkansas Employee Assistance Program, I'll 
be conducting an employee continuing education presentation at the University of Arkansas: 
Issues for Women Working with Women

The link for the presentation
http://hr.uark.edu/Training/TrainingCalendar.asp?EventID=1538

 

Following is an article that I received from Psychology Today. 
It reinforces the assertion in my September newsletter that quality sleep can resolve many

health problems.
    - Mary K. Williams

EMAIL FROM HARA MARANO OF PSYCHOLOGY TODAY
10/24/07

I was struck this week by a number of news reports about research on
sleep. More specifically, about the subtle, and sometimes not so subtle,
effects of lack of sleep. On mood. On general emotional state. At the
same time, crossing my desk were data on the growing sleep deprivation
of the American population. One of the great effects of globalization
and the availability of everything all the time via the Internet is the
general erosion of sleep time. It makes me wonder how much the mental
health of the population—and, notably, specific populations, such as
college students—could be improved with a simple prescription for sleep
or behavioral treatment for insomnia (there's evidence that sleeping
pills may not be the best alternative). Sleep isn't the sexiest of cures
(hold the jokes, please)—perhaps because we tend to think that big
effects should have big causes, and sleep is so...so mundane—but it may
just be one of the most necessary remedies.

THE CASE FOR DEPRESSION

Without sleep, the emotional centers of the brain dramatically overreact
to negative experiences, researchers report in a recent issue of Current
Biology. The hyperactive emotional response in sleep-deprived people
stems from a shutdown of the prefrontal lobes, the executive center of
the brain that normally keeps emotions under control. (It's long been
known that learning and memory are impaired by lack of sleep.) The
investigators had expected some increase in the brain's emotional
reaction from lack of sleep, but they were stunned by its magnitude. The
emotional centers of the brain were over 60 percent more reactive under
conditions of sleep deprivation than they were in subjects who had
obtained a normal night's sleep.

STRETCHING WITHOUT SNAPPING

Here's the way one of the researchers put it: "It is almost as though,
without sleep, the brain reverts back to a more primitive pattern of
activity, becoming unable to put emotional experiences into context and
produce controlled, appropriate responses. Sleep deprivation fractures
the brain mechanisms that regulate key aspects of our mental health. The
bottom line is that sleep is not a luxury that we can optionally choose
to take whenever we like. It is a biological necessity, and without it,
there is only so far the band will stretch before it snaps, with both
cognitive and emotional consequences." The scientists noted that some
form of sleep disturbance is present in almost all psychiatric
disorders.

IT ISN'T JUST THE SLEEP

Sleep is intricately involved with the circadian rhythms of light and
dark inscribed in all of our genes to allow us to live in synchrony with
our environment. Almost all of the body's major systems run on circadian
rhythms. Cardiovascular activity has a circadian pattern, as does body
temperature, metabolic functions and liver and kidney processes. Yet,
increasingly, because stimulation is so readily available around the
clock, people override basic biorhythms and ignore the biological
signals for sleep. Study after study has shown that we function best
physiologically and psychologically when our internal cycles are
well-synchronized with those of the external world.

"OUT OF SORTS"

When we mess up sleep and wake cycles, there's a reason we feel "out of
sorts." Yet, researchers find, the sleep patterns of Americans are
getting worse, increasingly out of phase with the natural rhythm. People
are staying up later than ever and, as adults put achievement pressures
on kids, sleep disturbances occur at a progressively younger age. The
same researchers also point out that the less people sleep, the more
they get depressed. And the worsening of sleep among Americans has been
accompanied by real increases in the incidence of clinical depression.

THE BODY SUFFERS, TOO

Physical well-being is affected by sleep patterns as well. When our
sleep gets out of synch with natural cycles of light and dark, the
immune system is compromised. There's a higher likelihood of getting a
cold or the flu. Hormones are in disarray. Stomach problems arise. These
are not hypothetical problems; they are, in fact, the common complaints
of those people who do shift work, experience jet lag, and suffer from
insomnia.

PEAK PERFORMANCE

Staying in tune with natural cycles and getting enough sleep puts people
in line for peak performance. Failure to synchronize patterns of
activity and stimulation with the body's natural rhythms puts a stress
on the system. The remedy is hardly dramatic. Studies show that the best
way to set the body clock is to plan exposure to natural light in the
early part of the morning. By shutting off production of the hormone
melatonin and regulating its circadian pattern of production, that's
what allows people to fall asleep at night.

OCTOBER 2007 Newsletter

DOUBLE DUTY ISSUE!

first section
CRASH COURSE: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

second section
CRASH COURSE: Getting People to Behave

CRASH COURSE:
COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY
by Mary K. Williams

The essential concepts of Cognitive Behavioral Theory (CBT) are as old as philosophy itself.
CBT is a self-help method, psychological theory and therapy method.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapists educate clients about the strategies and skills involved in CBT so that clients can use the techniques on their own.

The following is my list of the most valuable features of CBT

1. Feelings, Thoughts, and Behaviors are interrelated

    Feelings are the result of information being taken in and interpreted by the brain.
    Emotions can be changed if they are uncomfortable.
    Thoughts can be modified to help change feelings.
    Behaviors can also be modified to help change feelings.
 
2.  It's important to monitor and rate your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Common assignments that I might give include:

    Imagine a mood thermometer in your head and think about what the reading is as
    you go through your day

    Give a number for your level of happiness-depression in the morning and evening

    Notice what activities make you feel intellectually stimulated, relaxed, excited, 
    engaged etc.

3.  You can "catch" unhelpful thoughts and reduce their emotional impact with new "corrective thoughts" 

I often prompt clients to imagine that they can see their thoughts passing through their minds, perhaps like the ticker at the bottom of the TV screen on a newscast.  I ask clients to compile a list of the top few negative or unhelpful thoughts.  In therapy, we single out these negative thoughts and experiment with ways to mentally combat them.

Example negative thought:
"I always disappoint people"

Example corrective thoughts
"Actually, I only disappoint people once in a while, and that is a normal part of life."
"If I disappoint someone, I try to make amends."
"Feeling upset with myself won't help me out very much."

4.  You must include healthy, constructive activities that make you feel good in your daily schedule.

Sometimes people do not even have an idea of what they like to do!  Keeping your mind stimulated and your body moving is very important for mental health.
So
        - IF IT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND IT WORKS, DO IT

        - IF IT DOESN'T WORK, DO SOMETHING ELSE

Other related points follow in the next section, so READ ON

CRASH COURSE: GETTING PEOPLE TO BEHAVE
by Mary K. Williams

Behavior modification is another practice that all of us need to learn about and review from time to time.  The focus of the list below is on the magic of
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT - having something happen when a desired behavior occurs 
The examples are related to parenting, but the information applies to most humans. 

1. Clarify a few basic rules and expectations - be specific

Ex: "Respond with your voice when a parent calls your name"
Ex: "Put dirty clothes in the hamper every day"

2.  Focus on eliminating only ONE undesirable behavior at a time, such as talking back.

Help the person think of more than one behavior that can replace the undesirable one.

3.  MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT: Positively Reinforce Desired Behaviors

When you see a desired behavior, provide a simple acknowledgement or praise, such as saying "good job," "thanks," "wow!" or giving a nod or pat on the back. This is the positive reinforcement.
 
NO excessive praise — "that's the most incredible thing I've ever seen!"
NO prizes — they will work for praise/acknowledgement alone
NO vague compliments — "you're being good..."
NO loaded comments — "it's great that you are FINALLY cleaning your room"

MAKE SURE TO:
Be specific — "good work on setting the table"

Catch the good behaviors as often as you can

4.  If you give a "no" command, describe alternate behaviors or choices

"No yelling in the car, but you can talk with a normal tone"
"No hitting, but you can go outside and kick the ball"

5.  Discuss the behavior, not the mood, a personality trait or your moral judgment

Ex: "keep up the good work raking the yard"

WRONG: "you are being bad/good"
WRONG: "don't be mad at me"

6.  Stay calm and as neutral as possible during redirection or correction, and use a pleased tone a voice when giving positive reinforcement.

7. Do not get emotionally tied in to the person's response.  Do not escalate conflict by yelling or showing any kind of aggressive or threatening behavior. Present yourself as the authority figure who is in control.
  

Please let me know if you would like more information!

Office news: 
Reminder: The free initial consultation offer will expire at the end of 2007
I will be in town during the holiday season.